coming out from under the covers

I’m going to keep this short. It’s not sweet but it’s getting better. I am battling an upswing, weight gain from medication, and an impromptu extended role as single parent. Add in the normal hustle and bustle of our run-around life, I’m beat. I have been in the doldrums. I’ve been in an overstimulated spin from anxiety. I’ve been learning how to deal with this slurry of acronyms that have been added into my medical charts.

depression bipolar autism mamikaze

It’s difficult to post these things here lately because “what if my clients read this and decide they don’t want to work with a crazy lady?” is ALWAYS in the back of my mind. I keep trying to remind myself that if that is what a potential or current client chooses, I don’t want to work with them. But my income is at stake all the same.

I’m trying to give myself permission to let go of the guilt for not keeping up on housework while parenting solo. It doesn’t help that Fluffy is being a difficult preteen and “forgetting” about her chores. Then Mike calls and offers “helpful tips” on how to get things done. Unsolicited advice is bad, even from your spouse. I need to perfect my plans for the smack-you-through-the-phone-inator.

I need to go pack for MindCamp. I love unconferences, especially local ones. I still need to take extra Xanax but the networking and discussion is fabulous. Not to mention I’ll get time on my own.

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