And she was so proud of herself

Bear decided she wanted to play outside. so, she put her boots on and ran out the back door with the dogs. She spun on her heels and came back inside when she noticed how 30 degrees feels on naked legs. We call that natural consequences.

She came inside, put on pants and a coat and a hat. She gave me a kiss, said “OUTSIDE!” in her language, gave me another kiss and trotted out the door, beaming. I could here her screaming and chasing Ty and Allie around as the played in their typical manner. slowly, I slipped off into in sleep while they played.

I have had a rough winter. Single parenting and seasonal depression are match made in hell. I sleep all the time. I workout. I take vitamins. I eat healthy. Yet, I’m still taking multiple naps everyday. some are accompanied with an allergy headache even.

Suddenly, Fluffy comes in my room and tells me something about someone being at the door. I panic and grab a jacket. In the doorway is a very concerned woman.

“Is this your child?” She asks, pointing at Bear who stomped in as if all was usual.

“Yes!” I exclaimed, feeling puzzled.

“She was  outside wandering up and down the road.”

My heart raced as I tried to figure out how that could have happened. Oh shit! The back gate is missing its lock. Fuck! I had totally forgotten about it. My head was spinning.

“I called the police because I didn’t know what else to do.” She told me.

That was fine. I would so much rather have someone ask for police help than just drive past the little kid walking down the road in the dark. My head still reeling, I spoke with the deputy who came up the driveway. I explained to him who she is, what her condition is and what I assume had happened. I fully expected to be arrested for neglect right there in the cold and dark. He got my name and information. He offered to come inside and talk to her about staying home after dark. I wish that would have some effect on her. I thanked them for responding.

As I was gathering what wits I had left together, Mike called. Perfect timing. I lost it. I was still in shock, choking tears came out as I told him of my giant failure. After we finished talking to him. Bear decided it was bedtime. She grabbed her toys and blankets and shuffled into my room. She’s been having trouble sleeping, so she’s been sleeping on “Dad pillow” for weeks now. She’s my alarm clock. On school days, when I hear her get up in the morning , I know that I need to get Fluffy up and moving.

Her adventure tuckered her out. She was snoring before I could get her diaper changed. What a night.

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